Restoration of Order on the Way

Its not as bad as I think it is, is it? We are moved in, still no furniture or not much furniture but its getting better. Hot water heater died on Mondy, they came and fixed it yesterday. So you can imagine that its been not quite as stellar as I would like it to be, but when is it ever the way we want it?? Living next to friends is nice, always have visitors. I still miss her alot though. We have not spoken in any fashion in a while, i think its because i am afraid to call. I dont want to know the answer to any of my questions. She said to give her sometime, and i am perfectly ok with that, but still I worry about her. Do we lose the time we had, do those things become memories if I am not around to reinforce them by my presence?? Will i no longer count? These questions seem so ridiculous to me. Yet they plague me. Maybe its better to just let it go, if something is meant to be, then it will be...right? Just want to say this...this girl misses you m'lady.

On the outside looking in

Lately the woman in my life has been distant. I call her the woman in my life, because there is no other that holds my interest the way she does, yet I feel like I am not wholly apart of hers. Considering everything it is almost too much to ask really. She is part of a whole other schism that I may never touch, and the ideal of us spending quality time together is becoming more and more remote from my vision. How do I tell her that I miss looking at her, talking to her, discovering those unknowns about myself and her without pressure? I do not think its possible. I can only be patient and hope that one day she might venture to see me again.

The life I have with my "owner" right now makes things a little difficult, please do not misunderstand I love Him very much, I am happy to belong to Him. He has no issue with my interest in her, so long as no other XY is involved. This of course makes her Dom (who is also a friend of mine) a little...well not put out but disappointed I guess would be the right description. So here we all are...sitting in a room full of glass boxes that we ourselves are sitting in... not touching, talking or essentially communicating with each other. So wrapped up in our own bull shit unable to clearly see how the others are feeling. We are on the outside of emotional glass looking in...and its bugging the fuck out of me.

more later.

M*I*A

So i have been more than a little lax in my upkeep here but FINALLY we have moved into an apartment...*throws confetti* Yay!!!! Finally...privacy...our OWN space!! That of course means new rules in the new place...i am excited. Just wanted to note that i was still alive.....*hugs*